I was extremely cautious going into Transformers: 3. I really enjoyed the first one (it surprised even me how much I liked it), hated the second one (thanks for ruining the Constructicons, you prick) and didn't know what to expect with the last (?) one. My verdict: It was better than 2, but not *good.* Meaning, I didn't love it; I didn't hate it. This will be spoiler-free, so no worries.
The husband and I watched it in 3-D Imax before the theater opened the other day (hey, that's the perk of sleeping with a theater manager) so we had the theater all to ourselves.
It started out ok. There is some new beautiful chick to take up the Megan Fox role, and while she is a slightly better actress (I know, that isn't saying much) I found myself distracted by...her lips. She seriously made Megan Fox's lips look like Voldemorte's. Her lip was so puffy that never mind her looking bee-stung-she looked like an entire hive stung her. You could actually see the outline of her real lip and I just found it hideous. I know it seems crazy to focus on something like that, but I couldn't help it. At one point her character is dangling out of a window, and I reassured my husband, "It's ok. Her lip will cushion her fall."
Big puffy lips and models aside, Shia LeBeouf was...Shia LeBeouf. I kind of like that he's a geeky nerd with a fancy college degree and no job in this movie. Sound familiar, anyone? He's not a typical bad-ass action hero; he's just a "normal guy."
The first thing that annoyed me was the beginning of the movie. The movie is over 2 hours to begin with, yet Michael Bay had to show 15 minutes of footage of the space race, and then put "new" images and videos with this. Look. I think the majority of people out there know about NASA, the first man on the moon, etc. Did we really have to sit there for 15 minutes and watch it again, just so we could see that Transformers were there first? (This is the plot of the movie, so I'm not really giving anything away)
I was excited that Shockwave, one of the coolest Transformers villains was finally making an appearence. And Laserbeak, which means more Soundwave (and not the dumb satellite-version from the second movie).
View their badassness here:
(Shockwave finally reporting for duty, sir!)
(I want YOU to join the Deceptions!)
But overall...we got 5 minutes of each. Shockwave was built up as "THE" villain in this movie, but all we got was him shouting "PRIME!" and then some more scenes in the big battle. Don't even get me started on Soundwave. He said one line in his ultra-cool roboty voice, and that was about it. What a tease! Laserbeak was cool, but I did mourn that Rumble wasn't included in this movie. (Interesting tidbit: the original voice actor was approached to voice Shockwave, and he turned it down. Because he's so busy with other projects??? WTF!) Enjoy Soundwave and Laserbeak, below:
The movie spent too much time on a new, made-up character called Sentinal Prime, or as I called him, Leonard Nimoy-bot. They even made his face look like him. Dear Michael Bay, please stop humanizing the giant robots. Thanks. His character had no surprises, and a predictible ending. Moving on...
The stunt casting was a bit much. John Malkovich (did he owe Michael Bay a favor?), the Hangover guy, Frances McDormand, and Patrick Dempsy??? I would have been fine with John Tuturro being crushed under a robot's foot in the first movie, but they had to bring him back for the sequels. Oh well.
The plus sides (yes, there are some): There were cool Decepticons, and I did love the action sequences. Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime is always excellent, as he is one of the best voice actors around, and the final battle scene paid off. And Starscream is just as weasely in the movie as he is in the cartoon. You love to hate him. So I do appreciate the fan-service of the movies. And I guess that's my main problem. From a Transformers fan/nerd viewpoint, it was just ok. For people who just know the movies, it was probably great.
Is there more for another movie? Sure. Jetfire, anyone? Hell, I'd even take the damn Dinobots as long as they don't go the way of the Constructicons. But that doesn't mean I think there should be one, or that it would be that good. But Michael Bay, no matter what I think of him, is no dummy. And if this movie raked in another 500 million, then there is sure to be a sequel. Maybe they could bring in new cast, have Shia do a cute little cameo, and start anew.
Grimlock agrees.
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