Movie review: The Expendables

I wound up going to the movies today, to see The Expendables.  I'd been intrigued by this movie for a few months now, since I first heard of it as a "Sylvester Stallone movie with a ton of action stars".

I like a good action flick now and then. I like bombs exploding, bullets flying, bulky men beating each other up...the works. The cast was amusing, with everyone from Sly to Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Dolph Lundgren (!) and my favorite in this movie, Jason Statham.  There are some brief cameos, which most people probably know about from the trailers (Bruce Willis, Arnold, etc).

I'm not going to give away any real details of the movie, but it started out slowly. I kind of sat around for the first twenty minutes waiting for something significant to happen. It was slow to the point where I got annoyed. Sly and his crew are a bunch of mercanaries, hired by Mr. Church, so eloquently portrayed by Bruce Willis (still love him). They go to tiny island run by dictator, find out what problem is, figure out solution...you get the idea.

I understand that this was an ensemble cast, so not everyone is going to be used to their full potential. Jet Li was an utter waste though; mostly used as cheap Asian comic relief (jokes about him being short/small, language barrier, etc). He did get to show off some of his signature sweet moves, but the role was really an insult to him. Mickey Rourke also had a token role, but it didn't irk me as much as Jet Li's non-role.

The movie finally picked up the pace, and was a pretty decent shoot-em-up. It was outrageous, but not so unbelievable that I couldn't watch it.  One big distraction to me was Sly's obviously juiced-up physique. I've heard about him taking 'supplements' before, and you could tell in this movie. I know it's silly to even mention, but looking at his huge veiny arms just made me want to vomit a little. I mean, the man's neck was bulging and it looked like his veins would pop out at any second. Tone it down, Sly! I'd still watch you in a movie even if you were bald and fat!

I might have a crush on Jason Statham though. Maybe. I've never seen his Transporter movies, or Snatch, so I knew him by name only. I enjoyed his performance in this movie, and only wish I could have enjoyed some of his scenes without his shirt on.  Haha! I know, I know. What kind of review is this...Anyway!  He was Sly's BFF and partner in the movie, and I thought the two of them complimented each other well. I want to see more of him though. I'll make a note to see some of his other movies.

My final verdict? "The Expendables" was a decent movie. Or as my dad called it, a "fun popcorn summer action flick."  It won't win any awards, but it was mildly entertaining and brought together some very cool action stars.  Would I go see a sequel? Yeah, probably. There is just something appealing about a bunch of sweaty men kicking ass.  What would I like in a sequel, if they make one? A  meatier part for Jet Li, for one...and a nice scene of Jason Statham...sans shirt.